Domestic Violence Awareness Month

A Survivors Story

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Definition of Domestic Violence:

can be known as “domestic abuse” or “intimate partner violence”; known as a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner

Though October is well known for Breast Cancer Awareness month, it is also the month for Domestic Violence Awareness month. If you haven’t heard of the news of Agnes Tirop, then I would suggest you look that up. She a perfect example of how domestic violence can be life-threatening, but so silent or subtle that it is hard to determine. I am dedicating this month’s blog post to this topic.

For my situation, I didn’t realize I was in a domestic violence situation until I was close to being out of it. Fortunately, I remember it like it was yesterday (not over 10 years ago). I was 19 years old when I started this relationship that would turn out horrendous. I honestly thought I was in love, had found my person and I was done finding love. It started off great like it always does. I was confident, felt like I had someone that understood me and could move forward with life, and be somewhat happy. From the outside, everything looked fine, but on the inside things started to take a horrible turn. The abuse was emotional at first; I was pulled away from friends and activities I loved, was coerced into spending all my earnings on him to show I supported him in his dreams and was constantly placed in and out of a box of folks he wanted to remove from this earth. Along with the emotional abuse, it started to slowly get physical when we fought. The one fight that made me re-think leaving was when I was thrown towards a brick wall, choked till I passed out and I heard someone screaming. I came to and realized our relationship had been exposed and the police had been called. My saving grace was that I was moved to a different dorm and my last dorm director protected me throughout that transition along with my friends.

Though my story can seem a bit crazy and hard to believe why I didn’t leave earlier, it can be quite difficult to leave a situation when you have been torn down mentally. The way your brain processes habits can be very powerful in convincing you what is good for you and what could be bad. I want to empower you to either leave the relationship, if you are in a similar situation or to be someone’s support system while they’re in and get out of a domestic violence relationship. If you would like to learn more, make sure you review the National Domestic Violence hotline for more tips. You can also subscribe to our blog to help you start your peace journey.